Joy

A fleeting abyss that is allowed to rest for a moment on your lips and tongue
Fighting the coming darkness, standing and facing the coming night
Life is ushered in with every breath but soon fades again

Suspension of thought

so that action might take flight
suppression of doubt so that hope might exist
fighting against self every moment to see that the moment does indeed come

Green City

The sun light washed over the green stretch of Bryant park
Warmth for a moment then offset by lazy breezes who tell of fall
A child plays upon the library steps while mother smiles
All around, work is put to rest if only for a moment
To have the liberty to spend all day in such revelry
But alas life and work beacons
Thanks to parks for fleeting glimpses into the elysian plains

I Fell in Love a Thousand Times

And a thousand times my heart was shattered
Not by what was but what never will be
And that is the sorrow
The guilt tinged regrets
Of chances taken prematurely
And chances taken posthumously
Though to fall in love even once and be loved back.....

Money

Allows for the speedy transformation of idea into reality, if well put to use
Keeps a roof atop your head, food in your stomach and piece of mind when traveling
Not to be worshiped only utilized, the line between the two can blur though
So we strive to achieve and in the process accumulate more or less depending...
Wishing that it were not so simple yet so complex

Left With Nothing

What is to fill the void
A longing left to be unfulfilled
Wistful but melancholy
What a strange pair
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
Ok

The stubble

on my face
the short brown hair wandering down my forehead
I see my father in the mirror
I am filled with mixed emotions
Set upon life
Now growing older
I see the resemblance increasing
This makes me proud
But it also alludes to times passage
And acclaims yet accomplished

Mirage Impressions

I stood before the alter of industry
Staring up at the monoliths of achievement
Aspiring to their heights
Within the shadows but glimpsing sun
Then transformed both self and soul
But the metamorphosis was incomplete
And left between two existences was I
Time past and turmoil ensued
Till the next time I stared down the ravenous beast
This time a chill overtook me
And the desire to flee
To retreat from the burnt earth beneath my feet
Once again to the shores I tread
To look upon the vastness of tomorrows
While the embers still smolder behind me
Burning my back as I stand and wait for the tide to return

10 Year Treasury Note at 4.64%

So the market had a rally on Friday, as shorts covered and options expired and the Fed guaranteed we'd all have something to discuss this past weekend. The discount rate cut, while aiding liquidity and giving the market a moral boost by increasing expectations of a Fed Funds cut, should not sway you into a pleasant slumber just yet. Look at the 10 Year Treasury, now in a world that is awash in liquidity it is understandable that when risk aversion hits people will run to US Gov't backed securities but the underlying issues of the economy are now spurring this rise in the 10yr in addition to simple risk aversion flight to safety psychology. I still think we are headed for at least a year of choppiness tending lower for the major averages. Despite the Fed aided return to liquidity for CDO's and CLO's we are still experiencing an environment where the sub-prime mess will intensify with defaults continuing to rise as the lower and lower middle class consumers' cash flow is constricted by heavier interest payments. Furthermore, this recent bout of volatility should have reeked continued havoc on the Quant Funds and the Risk Arb funds who are seeing a stampede away from their favorite Private Equity deals. Life is getting interesting and I should hope the Fed doesn't bail out too many of these risk blind hedge funds by cutting the overnight rate on 9/18.

The Yen and Dow 12,000

Well friends we are on our way to 12,000 and perhaps 11,500 for the DJIA. I see a good year long bear market coming on. First to take note of is the unwinding of the yen carry trade, notice the Yen's appreciation against the dollar from 122 Yen/$ to 113 Yen/$. Unemployment has creeped up to 4.6% and should rise as the US economy continues to be weighed down by the fall out of the sub prime fall out. While the immediate market turmoil is more of a result of the lack of liquidity in CDO's and CLO's the more important long term note is that it speaks to the slowing of the US consumer. Warnings from Walmart and Home Depot should give us a fairly good clue as to where we are headed in the coming months. And for those of you who think the world economy can withstand a slowing US economy and still keeping on chugging I remind you that we are the world's primary end market, and as our dollar weakens against the Euro, the Pound and the Yen (as it must with the level of deficits but fiscal and trade that we routinely run)coupled with a Fed that will have to cut rates within the next six months, our purchasing power will further erode and conjunction with lower demand and hence the beginning of a global slowdown. My advice keep your money in cash or money markets for the next few months, let stock drift down, then when everyone is saying the only place to stow your money is in large and mega cap stocks, buy as many shares of IWM as possible and just sit back and wait for the fun to start.

Rooftops

Of our own being
The pinnacle of possibility
Yet we see the stars
Through the clouds
And see hope amidst our own darkness

Let's Hide Death

In antiseptic whiteness
And reinforce the notion that your life's work is all there is to life
Let's hide our loved ones away so we don't have to say goodbye
So we don't have to acknowledge our own mortality
Then one day
We'll be left alone
And we circle life
Slowly circling
circlin
circli
circ
cir
ci
i
.

Donate To Virtual Food Drive

Through the Food Bank of NY I'm helping to organize a Virtual Food Drive with all proceeds going directly to the Food Bank. For every $1 donated through the food drive you can help buy 5 meals for the 2M hungry New Yorkers out there. Please help with even $1, 5 meals means 5 meals. Donate
Please pass this link on to friends too, https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=138575&lis=0&kntae138575=D0CCB90195C6445EB8DDD1948DD64B9B&supId=182114512

At Some Point It's Over

And nothing more can be said
Acceptance comes easy
Last hopes faded
Simplicity
Calmness
Remain

Bored but still won't work

It is always around 2:30-3:30 each day that my productivity bottoms. I know there are a few things to do that could keep me busy for a half an hour or so but staring blankly at the computer screen seems more appealing, now isn't that sad. I go get coffee, decaf because I'm trying to be healthy or something, I look at an empty email Inbox (no she hasn't gotten back to you with the url you needed), I sip coffee, take off my shoes and just space.

Goodbye Old Friend

The time has come for the wind to carry you where it may
No longer set in routine
To the whim plans will be set
A path, a journey, a foolish quest?
Will you find yourself in the middle of nowhere?
Is that even what you are looking for.
Tomorrow the sun will rise and you'll see it afresh
Here's to tomorrows and pasts less regrets

5th of July Blues

The problem with the 4th of July being in the middle of the week is that the 5th and 6th both represent days of drudgery at the office. Now I'm sure that those who are able have stretched the celebration of our nations independence into a five day min-vacation. Which is exactly the American way and damn straight. For those of you who have read this blog on occasion you'll know my opinions on work aren't exactly favorable. After a day outdoors with beer and hot dogs the office the next day seems to be hardly worth be alive for. We must unite this great nation and demand that no matter what day the 4th falls upon it should be accompanied by having the rest of the week off, and if it so happens that it falls on a Monday then hooray for 9 day weekend. A novel concept whose time has come. Unite America and throw down your blackberries and laptops, let us demand freedom from the 5th of July blues.

She Looks Down

And smiles at her finger and the rock that sparkles
A love's promise fulfilled
A life to be but yet begun
Spring
Summer
Fall
before Winter

Meaningless

Meaningless words so often spoken
By me and others
Shallow as they are trite
But something must be said I think?
Perhaps not though
Fuck it
Let it end in a silent embrace

City Block

Summer, past 10:00 and still the sun’s warmth emanates from the sidewalk

Generations speak on the steps of knowledge

Trees older than buildings but far out numbered

Street lamps illuminate just as the sun does minutes before dawn

Peaceful, Waldenesque scenes in the middle of Astoria Queens

To Have Once Loved

So fully as to never forget
Her Touch
Her Smell
Her Taste
So that what was once infused can never be totally removed
Two as one as two

You Know it's Bad

when you need another shower before you even hop on the train to go to work. I don't mind the sweltering, sweating, dripping, oozing, oppressing heat so much as I mind being in a collared dress shirt in the sweltering, sweating, dripping, oozing, oppressing heat. Last night we jammed into the morning, good turn out and even better grooves. Now I'm at work unwilling to do the word justice and recovering from too little sleep and too many brews. I normally just take straight up coffee but today I had to go with a red eye, here's hoping I don't fall asleep at my desk.

Sweet Kisses

Your Infamy Lives Within Me
A Sheltered Faith Shattered

Comfort Music

There are bands/artists that I listen to one I just want to listen to something that I listened to when I was amidst turmoil but the dust cleared. For this I listen to Ari Hest, Hootie and the Blowfish (Cracked Rear View), Green Day (Dookie), Good Charlotte (The Young the Hopeless), Third Eye Blind ( Both Third Eye Blind and Out of the Vein) Smashing Pumpkins (Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness) These albums are the hallmark of music that I can just lose myself in for a while, I know the melodies, harmonies and even pick up beats so well that I can just entire cease thinking and look out the window and remember a similar time in my life when things were up in the air and they ended up alright, more or less.

Myspace Customer Support Sucks

I've been trying to get an email verification from these idiots for the last two weeks. And all I get is automated emails in return, which would be fine if the replies I sent were actually read by human beings, but they're not so I keep get the same emails without anything ever changing, does anybody have the # to their customer support office, if you do please post as comment on blog.
To about 65 email verification code requests and email change requests so that I could get a verification code I've gotten four dismal responses.

From:	"Other"
To:	sean@cyderobin.com
Date:	08 Jun 2007, 01:09:05 PM
Subject:	MySpace - Verification Code

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Customer Support at MySpace.com

If you are having trouble with entering your verification code, you might try the following:

• Use all lower case letters

• Do not use a space between any of the letters

• Press each key carefully and individually

• Watch out for the letters “v”, “x” and “y”.

Hope this helps!

For the most up to date messages about MySpace, subscribe to the MySpace Help blog! You get updates almost every day! Go here to subscribe.

Thank you,

MySpace.com

From:	"EmailFilterVerification"
To:	sean@cyderobin.com
Date:	12 Jun 2007, 12:21:01 AM
Subject:	MySpace - Change Email Address

From:	"EmailFilterVerification"
To:	sean@cyderobin.com
Date:	12 Jun 2007, 12:21:01 AM
Subject:	MySpace - Change Email Address

---

HTML content follows

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Customer Support at MySpace.com

To help us change your email address, please provide the following information:

Old MySpace Email/log in Address:

New MySpace Email/log in Address:

MySpace Password (we use this to verify your identity. If you are uncomfortable sending us your password, you may also send us a salute instead):

or

Salute: A current photo of yourself holding a handwritten sign containing your friend ID. The friend ID is located on your web address bar while viewing your profile.

Link: A link to your site (friend ID or URL) would be extremely helpful. Sometimes there is an error in the email/log in address and we will not be able to locate your account and help you.

If this does not address your issue completely, please press "Reply" and provide any additional information you feel is relevant.

For the most up to date messages about MySpace, subscribe to the MySpace Help blog! You get updates almost every day! Go here to subscribe.

www.myspace.com/myspacehelp

Hope this helps!

Thank you,
MySpace.com

From:	"MySpace Contact1"
To:	sean@cyderobin.com
Date:	14 Jun 2007, 01:57:32 PM
Subject:	MySpace - Verification Code Reply

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Customer Support at MySpace.com

If you are having trouble with entering your verification code, you might try the following:

• Use all lower case letters

• Do not use a space between any of the letters

• Press each key carefully and individually

• Watch out for the letters “v”, “x” and “y”.

If you find that the html for your background is missing, it may have been removed because of faulty coding or there was a violation of the Terms of Service. Please be careful pressing links from strangers and do not use inappropriate images.

If this does not address your issue completely, please press "Reply" and provide any additional information you feel is relevant.

For the most up to date messages about MySpace, subscribe to the MySpace Help blog! You get updates almost every day! Go here to subscribe.

www.myspace.com/myspacehelp

Hope this helps!

Thank you,
MySpace.com

From:	"EmailFilterVerification"
To:	sean@cyderobin.com
Date:	14 Jun 2007, 06:00:59 PM
Subject:	MySpace - Change Email Address

---

HTML content follows

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Customer Support at MySpace.com

To help us change your email address, please provide the following information:

Old MySpace Email/log in Address:

New MySpace Email/log in Address:

MySpace Password (we use this to verify your identity. If you are uncomfortable sending us your password, you may also send us a salute instead):

or

Salute: A current photo of yourself holding a handwritten sign containing your friend ID. The friend ID is located on your web address bar while viewing your profile.

Link: A link to your site (friend ID or URL) would be extremely helpful. Sometimes there is an error in the email/log in address and we will not be able to locate your account and help you.

If this does not address your issue completely, please press "Reply" and provide any additional information you feel is relevant.

For the most up to date messages about MySpace, subscribe to the MySpace Help blog! You get updates almost every day! Go here to subscribe.

www.myspace.com/myspacehelp

Hope this helps!

Thank you,
MySpace.com

Rehearsing

Mark and I got to rehearse a good hour and a half or so, felt good to just be playing music again, looking forward to the weekend and next weeks' gig. I love going to bed at a decent time on Friday because it opens up the whole weekend. The worst is when you drink too much on Friday night, end up suffering all day Saturday and then by Saturday night you're just recovering but no desire to go out remains, so you crash then it's already Sunday. Looking so forward to that coffee in the morning, heck maybe I'll make it Irish.

Some Day I'll smoke that cigar

in Bryant Park. It is one of the few places where you can smell the aroma of cigar smoking wistfully floating by you as you walk around the chess boards or look upon the lawn. That and Nat Sherman's on the corner so you know most of those cigars have just been purchased by their lucky guardian, no humidor for these stogies. I think perhaps when I get the chance to leave my current job and set off on some tour with my band, then I'll smoke a fine cigar to bid a fond adieu to my lunch time utopia. It is Firday once again, can't you tell by my euphoric tone, and that means all that stands in the way of me and freedom is two and half paltry hours. Though the weekend should be a fairly busy one, filled hopefully with rehearsing for our upcoming show, Saturday morning will be my refuge from the practicing and I will sit in the empty Starbucks on Steinway sipping my coffee and day dreaming while my eyes wander to and from the street outside. Perhaps I'll get a chance to chill with Blake more too, which would be a nice change of pace. There is something about friends you've known since middle school that allows you to cut the bs. No need to try to be cute in conversation or ask them how their life is progressing. No need for pleasentries or civlity, just relaxing drinking a beer watching the game, enough said. I just finished reading Miles, the autobiography of Miles Davis. It is a fabulous read and I recommend it to all those interested in music and jazz specifically. I love the attitude the guy had, although a lot of the things he might have done were questionable, he did everything with style and confidence that came from sticking to his own guns even if meant pissing everyone off. Now that type of character is rare these days, when everybody is so pc and cordial that you don't know how anybody really feels. The passion has gone out of conversation because it has become so sanitized. His exuberance for music, women and life where his hallmarks. I leave you with brief quote of his on the nature of Jazz and jazz musicains "you need more than that (great technical skills and technique) to play great jazz music, you need feelings and an understanding of life that you can only get from living, from experience"

And then there was 1

The problem with having more than one person involved in any venture is that interests and schedules seldom align in such a way that resources (time and creativity) are best utilized. If many of the great thinkers, painters, scientists and musicians had to wait around for another half then they may have never have accomplished anything. Yet on the other side of the coin we have great accomplishments made by teams or groups working together whose success was never again matched once they disbanded and went their own separate ways. I guess the question to ask oneself is, where do your highest chances for success lie.

Cloudy NYC Day

It's cool and cloudy in NYC today. The many people on the streets scurry just a bit faster and do not wander aimlessly in sunny rays of mirth. Ah it is Wednesday as well which means only two more days to go before the holy grail that is the Weekend returns in prophesied glory. Tonight, for those of you who read this blog regularly already know, is jam night. This always seems to put a spring in my step and a smile on my face , for it is the "most wonderful day of the week" (sing as Christmas carol to get full effect) All around me spring has sprung its relationships forth, my brother has a new gal in his life and Ken has, well let's keep it undefined but at least it be something. I have my bass, which is alright by me for now for it will lead to greener pastures I'm sure (yet whether that be artistically or romantically I'm less sure)

Too Tired to Clean

Not likely I've really done anything tiring today but there you have it. At least tomorrow is Wednesday which means Jam Night. Always a cause for hope in a world of ties and copiers. I think I'll go to sleep early just because I never do that unless I've had far too much to drink. Today I worked, read and played bass with periods of eating and cursing mixed in, not a bad day. I love 8 in the morning, I usually feel so relaxed then where as by 5:30 when I emerge perspiring from the R stop at Steinway Street, I am usually quite angst ridden and by 10:00 pm I'm too tired to be a go getter. I love 8 AM because there are still so many possibilities for the day.

Smile

Those of you who know me know that my proclivity for smiling, well simply doesn't exist. Now I might of smiled more when I was a youngter but these days I smile, truly smile from unabashed joy, quite rarely. Yet I find myself in an office working the front desk which means I'm the first face many people see when they enter the office, yes I can't help but smirk a bit from the irony of that statement, and as such I need to be upbeat and happy. Now most of you then see me when I return to Queens after a long day of smiling and nodding and wonder why I look so exhausted and like I'm about to "die" or "faint" Well you see I think it has to do with this act I have to do all day, not that I'm by nature an unhappy person, rather I like to keep my moods to myself I think I need to work on being pleasant and not smiley because this smiley thing is absolutely tiring.

The Myth of Adulthood

Almost 1:00 and no more work to do. Which is good because I was out till 2:00 am last night having drinks with Blake, Ken and Mark at the Black Bear in SoNo. I was the DD which meant I only had a beer and therefore when I found myself lost in the middle of Norwalk I had no excuse. Blake recently got back from his third tour in Iraq, he's now Sgt. in the Marines, which sounds so very adult and got be thinking about this idea of growing up. The one thing that seems to necessitate "growing" up is the arrival of infants in your life, aside from this bouncing event the delineations are not so clear. Perhaps it is your first houese, the death of your parents or your first real job that ushers you into this club. I know that leaving my first real job seems to have offered me more in the way of growing up than all my time working. The uncertainty of what to do with life remains trhoughout one's time here but perhaps the options appear to be less plausible at a given point and with this narrowed persepective we get "Practical". What an awful word, it means that you do something you don't want to do because it makes more sense in the grander scheme of your life, but that doesn't change the fact that whatever that Practical choice may be it is in fact self denying. I don't think it hits all at once , adulthood that is, I think it is a series of small choices that lead to a different world view and value priority alignment than one had held previously in one's youth. But perhaps that is too harsh, it may be the reiteration of a worldview too, and in that confirmation of our own sense of being we find that we have been on the right track all along. God knows I wouldn't want to be 12 again nor 17 or even 21. That doesn't mean that those ages didn't hold things that I wish I possessed now, like no rent and more gall. I quote the Beatles "when I was younger so much younger than today, I never needed anybodies help in anyway but now those days are gone and I'm not so self assured" Here's to an ever evolving sense of adulthood in whatever form that it may take.

Friday Again

Which means music in Bryant Park once again, this time it was a performance by Robin Thicke, who pulls of the falsetto beautifully and worked the women in the crowd to quite a fever pitch. So glad it is Friday. Looking forward to a long train ride back to CT with a Fosters in my hand and a song in my heart. Ain't I sweet. Been digging the sound I'm getting out of my new Fender Fretless Bass, it adds a thump sound to the groove which is what I really enjoy. Listening to a lot of bebop stuff with a CD Jazz at Massey Hall '53 being my new repeat album. It has Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Max Roach, Bud Powell, and of course the famed bass player Mr. Charlie Mingus. It's been a fun musical journey lately, I've been hitting up some of the funk stylings of Curtis Mayfield and Sly and the Family Stone then hitting the Jazz Giants all the while trying to incorporate that into a Rock band groove and I say groove because that is what I love most about those guys they can really envelop the audience with rhythm or a riff that just is incendiary and people leave feeling emotionally and physically spent.

So....

Mark and I managed to get our demo done and now for the first time in two years we have music to share with our friends once again. A good feeling to be sure. Today was one of those gorgeous days that remind you how good it is to be 24 in NYC. Bryant Park is full of the most beautiful women around and it's Thursday. Right now I'm chilling listening to some Thelonious Monk and enjoying having had a fairly productive stretch, which means I'm now being a bit of a lazy bum. I'm working with the managers of a few local Starbucks to try to get little artist showcases going, which would be great in that it would give Mark and I a venue for playing that is right in our own back yard while also allowing our friends a place to test their skills too. I'm hoping to have each set be around 25 minutes, the 10 minutes at open mics are never really sufficient to get into a groove. One of my oldest friends is getting back into town this weekend and his parents are throwing him a welcome back bbq, he's a marine and has put in three tours of duty in Iraq already. It's crazy how different life can be for two kids who grew up in the same town. I'm doing the whole artist NYC thing and he's off fighting in foreign lands. Psyched to see him again. What a beautiful spring day this has been, and in a bit I'll catch some of the Cavs/Spurs game while drinking a Corona. Life is mellow shade of yellow.

Saturday Fun

This last weekend was a blast, too bad it's only Tuesday now. On Saturday I had a jammed packed day of fun, saw the film Knocked Up, which I highly recommend on account of its wonderful use of dirty language and character development that mirrors real life. That and Katherine Heigl is wonderful to watch for any length of time. After this I got to go see one of my favorite bass players, Les Claypool, rock out Nokia Theater in Times Sq. till 12:30 in the morning. The scene was a throw back to an earlier era, with whiffs of sweet smelling smoke drifting up from the packed theater and beautiful women dance the whole night through, and not the hip hop grinding style either but that joyful Dead/flower child type of dance that flows effortlessly from the music. Les himself was amazing, doing some stuff on a six string fretless bass that I did not think where possible with a bass guitar. He's such a great performer and entertainer; he had the whole crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. After the show let out at my brother and I made are way back to Astoria to attend our friend Renata's "Goodbye to Starbucks" gala, in which she bids a long overdue adieu to the "Magical Land of Coffee". Doyles Corner was fairly packed for a 2:00 on a Saturday night so I and a few others made our way over to Crehans on 31st Ave to enjoy a few beers with out the hindrance to speech that always accompanies Karaoke Night at Doyles. Sunday was lazy and Monday and Friday both saw a fair amount of recording done which is good because Mark and I need to have our demo done by tomorrow. Here's to sleepy Tuesday mornings that allow for too much blogging.

Rain and Errands

Staring at the rain
Through the window of a parked car
Waiting for my mother to return
Solemn day dreams play within my head
A feeling of wistful peace surrounds me
I hope it thunders
Then this moment would be complete

Music in the Park/Investment Talk

I am becoming more and more a fan of Good Morning America, this morning they sponsored a brief concert by Daughtry and two weeks ago they had Rascal Flatts performing, it's nice to enjoy the last few sips of my morning coffee under the auspicious sky over Bryant Park at 8:40 in the morning. It just starts the day off on the right note. Plus it is Friday the glory of all days, the jobs report came out today and saying that we added 157K jobs to the payrolls this month which puts our unemployment rate at a nice little 4.5%, under what many economists believe to be "Full Employment" which means that the economy is most likely in good shape despite what the GDP revision downward yesterday might have us believe. So for those of you who own any broad index funds this should be a happy, even more so with the Core PCE Deflator coming in at .1% under consensus estimates of up .2%. The reason I bring these weighty matters up on a beautiful Friday morning is because part of my dream of living a laid back life is to live frugally enough to save a good portion of my funds so that one day I too could retire to a life of leisure, albeit if only a meager on, and live off the profits of my portfolio. I happen to favor broad based index funds that allow even the laziest amongst us to receive the markets returns. Now I know some of you will speak up about the rewards of being an active investor, you'll most likely to pristine examples of stock picking prowess like Warren Buffett, Bill Miller, Peter Lynch or active traders like George Soros and Stevie Cohen but one must remember that these titans of Wall St. work very very very long hours and who wants to do that. Hedgefund.net, which tracks the returns of 4823 actively managed hedge funds reported that hedge fund returned a whopping 11.9% to their investors last year, not bad but still not beating the 12.8% return of the S&P 500 which any Joe off the street could have purchased via an index fund. I myself am partial to Fidelity's four-in-one index fund, it allows you to invest in 4 broad indices, with a fund allocation of 55% S&P, 15% International, 15% Extended Market (smaller cap equities) and 15% US Treasuries. How about that diversification at the click of a button and it has no load and an expense ratio of under 10 basis points (.1%). So for those of us who can learn to save and live within our means, we are able to achieve similar returns to the Wall St big shots without having to do any of the work. There you have it democracy in action.

The times they are a changin

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
(Bob Dylan)

As I watch Spring begin its ascent into the Summer Sun I look around at all that has changed and all that will have changed come Fall. Friends are moving on or away, jobs have grown weary and new adventures are sure to be had. At my core I belive Nietzche was correct when he said that "What does not kill me, makes me stronger" but perhaps not more secure nor physically well off from the experience, the only true strength we gain is the knowledge that whatever we have just endured was not enough to finish the job. So as I bid adieau to the past and look warily to the future I am more or less content in the present, weakened by the ordeals of the year gone by but not entirely damaged from the wear. Tis summer and I shall rejoice for the moment, because as we know the moment is as fleeting as wealth, power and health.

Sisyphus

Office work is much like Sisyphus' boulder only not quite so physically tasking and luckily it haunts us not in to eternity. No matter what one does in an office there is more and more paperwork, mailings and busy work to do than there ever really should be. I mean I know things have to be collated but I despise the practice on principal. Luckily it is Thursday which means tomorrow is Friday and the gods of office work don't have say over my weekend hours. So why do I mention this topic at all, well because I am straying from my task at hand in order to write this little entry, my little way of thumbing my nose at the establishment while looking like I'm dutifully working. If I were to finish my work there would only be more to takes its place so I've learned the art of taking my sweet time with work so as not to stress myself out and always appear reasonably busy, while still having time to zone out and day dream, a practice that is made far the richer with a cup of fresh brewed coffee....mmmmm Sounds good think I'll go partake of that whim now.

Sticky Icky and the Big Bang

So it's sticky and icky out in NYC today, the heat of the summer is fast approaching with the humidity to boot. I'm glad it's Friday though, no complaints on that front, Friday being all the more powerful because it is the Friday before Memorial Day Weekend. Life is looking up at the moment, mostly because I've been in such a low mood that lifting my face off the pavement is a definately optimistic sign. Been thinking a lot about life lately, too much in fact and have come to the conclusion that I don't feel like thinking about it much anymore. Last night hung at Crehans with Keith, Mark and Ken, just drinking a few beers under the cloudy night sky over Astoria Queens. This of course solves none of the mysteries of the great beyond nor give any insight into the epistmological possiblities open to our human minds but it does a body good and the soul, if there is one, too. In the grander scheme of the billions of years of existence, galaxies coming and ceasing to be and more recently the dinosaurs, ice age and fox tv we must content ourselves to being rather insignifigant specks I suppose and to overly anaylze your place in the world is to neglet to analyze your place in the cosmos, hence givening far too much weight to your worries. Here's to being a small speck in the midst of an expanding universe that has been existence for billions of years and is made up of the same matter that I am, seeing as how I'm am part of it, which means that I (my physical elements) have been around for a billion years (13.7 Billion but who's really counting), how cool is that.

Sugar in My Coffee

I don't take sugar in my coffee, but on occasion (this morning being one) I seek the comfort of the sweet smooth taste to cover the abrupt necessary infusion of caffeine to my system. Still a bit high from the jams last night, played from 8-10:30 with J,Alex,Mark,Domer and Ken then played from 12:30 to 1:30 with Manny and Will. Tired this AM so I'm starting off my work day in a productive manner and writing a ease into the day blog entry. I'm feeling quite tranquil today, with the riffs and melodies of last night still floating freely through my mind. I think Ken was recording some of the tunes, if anything worth listening to again turns up it'll be posted to this site promptly. To add to my laid back mood, I've hit the point with my current temp position where moving up is just as fine as moving on and now all that is left to be decided is which. This weekend starts early for me, 3pm to be exact and then stretches out till Tuesday morning, another reason to be glad it's Thursday morning. I'll be trecking back to CT on Metro North at 3:34 I suppose, a Pint of Fosters in my hand and my bass at my side. Ah life is good sometimes too.....

Of Winners and Losers

There's a great line in the film "With Honors" when Joe Pesci's character tells Brendan Fraser that He is a loser because "Winners forget they're in a race, they just love to run. You try too hard". As one might imagine this line finds much resonance with me in my current position in life. I'd love to be the runner who Just loves to run and is not even conscious of the struggle of the race. Would my character then be less though, by not having to persevere in the face of adversity or overcome the personal demons that haunt all those uncertain of the future....

Chocolate Beer

So today my good friend Ken turned 22. He celebrated the day by gathering up some Shake Shack Burgers for Lunch then Mark, Carolina, and I took him to celebrate at Max Brenner in Union Square. The food was marvelous, I had banana split waffles with chocolate beer, while the birthday boy had a dinner of S'mores. The day is somewhat bitter sweet despite all the chocolate that abounded on the table. He leaves to be a hobo in a little more than a month. Though, believe it or not, I feel this is something that he must do for himself it is sad to see him leave. Mark, he and I had come to the city in hopes of building a recording studio out of our apartment and recording great tunes and moving on to bigger and better things but now he'll be moving on and we'll still be fighting the same fight that began those three and half years ago. People say anything the worth having comes easily but that perhaps it is the trial by fire that truly allows the final mettle that we are made of to be of worth. It's tough early on in the journey to find the faith and resolve to keep going even if you believe the end to be worthwhile. As Bob Dylan says in my favorite of his tunes "Tangled Up In Blue" "The only thing left to do is keep on keeping on"

Productive Day

You can tell that it's been a very productive day on the old work front by the fact that I am now posting my second blog entry in less than eight hours. I recently was informed that the woman who used to make my life a living nightmare while I worked at the hedge fund, flipped and quit. This is regrettable but it does post further doubt on her assumptions about the nature of work in today's marketplace. True, I was not willing to go to the lengths she was in order to succeed. In the end is she any better off than I? Financially speaking, yes she is but she is nearing her sixties and I am yet only 24, so we won't have comprable cash hordes to compare until sometime down the line. All I can say was that she was patently unhappy with her life, felt that the only meaning there was to be had was in proving to the world that she could "hang" or "surpass" every other human being on the planet. Back when I was working with her this seemed to be a lot of work and in retrospect it seems to have been even ardous than I had imagined then. I am not happy so to speak with my current job nor am I necessarily happy with who I am, but I do like my view of the world. If nothing else I believe that the world rewards hard work in pursuit of a noble goal, that you should do unto others as you would have done unto yourself and that we should make the best of the brief time we have on this planet just in case this happens to be all there is for us. This view I'm happy with, everything else well, keep reading...

Supper

Last night Mark, Ken and I gathered around our small dinner table in Astoria, Queens to partake of a meal of pan sauteed chicken breast cooked in olive oil, butter, with lemon juice, and topped with capers, minced garlic, pepper, and some American cheese. In addition we had steamed broccoli and carrots coated with butter and some hefty home mashed potatoes made with light cream. This meal would have sounded like something my mom would have cooked years ago but not in a million years would I have thought that I'd be cooking this meal. It's funny how one begins to incorporate new elements into their life. When I was working at the hedge fund, I had no opportunity to be creative and surprisingly began to look to the culinary arts as a way to infuse creative activies into my daily routine. I found that beyond the simple pleasure of prepping and and cooking, which in itself filled our apartment with the aromas of home, it became a positive force in helping to bring the three of us together. As we sit around the small table drinking beer and listening to loud music, we actually get a chance to talk, a chance that I'm not sure we would have had if the enticement of food was not present. Ever since then, I've realized the joy that can be had at a fine restaurant or a small local diner, when friends gather to recount their trials and tribulatios from the day an bask in the warmth of friendship. It might sound overly sentimental but nonetheless it is these simple pleasures that give life meaning.

Sunday Morning

So it's a sleepy Sunday morning here in Astoria Queens. It's close to 11:00 and I'm just now waking from the land of dreams and nightmares. It's overcast outside but I must leave my bed soon and go off to have my morning jolt at Starbucks. I have nothing planned for the day except practicing bass and probably watching this dvd I bought entitled In the Shadows of Motown, a look into the life and times of the great Motown session band the Funk Brothers. I love Sundays because you've already started to get a bit of the freedom feel to you air, not that it lasts much past twilight but it is still present in the lazy morning. It reminds me of my less productive but far happier days of doing nothing weeks at a time back in January, February, and half of March. Boy did I have the life! Hopefully music will show a little more progress in the next month or so and at least give me reason to believe that I won't be stuck in the cubicled, florescent lighted hell that is office work. Give me a dirty stage and a cramped van and I'd be happy, at least I think I would since I have yet to actually meet this mecca of accomplishment yet...Well here's to another sleepy Sunday may time flow slower for me so that I might truly rest in peace today.

4:49 Time to Kill

So I have a 11 minutes before I'm freed for the weekend, not much planned except dinner with my dad and Mark then a going away party on Saturday, another actress goes to grad school may her dream RIP. No real thoughts on the nature of the world or what not, just want to see how much bs I could get on the page before I shut down my computer and bound down the steps of my building into the cool spring air of midtown 6th ave. Midtown is an odd little place, nobody really lives there, just office buildings and over priced apartments that fill what used to be over priced hotels. So most of the folks you see are on their way to work or home from work. Work work work work work. Yuck. At least in the village people come to hang out, and Queens you see families running about with kids and such, but in midtown the only kids you see are the out of place looking ones following some equally out of place looking parents wearing "I Love NY" t-shirts and looking at tourist maps or gawking at the "World's largest TGIFridays" Something that we all should hope to see before we die I'm sure. Bryant park is cool as is the library, but it is far from the hopping musical mecca of the mid 1900's. 4:55 almost time to go. So excited to be out for a few days, plan to rehearse most of tomorrow before I to the going away party for the actress going back to grad school RIP her dream and such....Life is immortal and everlasting before five, I feel like that fool in Catch 22 who used to like to do the most boring of things because he figured it made time pass slower and therefore extending his life, without saying a damn thing to the quality of that life...4:56 we're almost there folks just a couple more minutes. What to talk about, I don't know, who knows anything when it's 4:57 alright we're really moving along now, I might bust a gut or break a finger just from the excitement contained in the silent ticks of an invisible clock, if I were moving at the speed of light would time slow down or speed up, I can never remember and why did E=mc2 again? 4:58 fuck it time to go.....

Suits of Certainty

Certainty: well Franklin tells us all that we can be sure of is "death and taxes" but our uncertainty itself seems to be a constant. For some this is more obvious than others. I recently was discussing the matter with a friend of mine who is both an actor, sax player and bouncer. As you know I have gone from the "steady" world of wall st. to temping and perhaps to another full time jobs but with hopes of one day making my living as a bass player. He made the good point that nothing about these supposed "secure" jobs is in fact secure, reliable or even the least bit predictable. Life is to varied for that. His point was that at least he, as an actor/musician, knew that life was unpredictable and did not place undue reliance on the present set of circumstances continuing henceforth to inffinity. Then how does one prepare to face what is by its very nature indiscernible. I liked to quote Sun Tzu on the matter, for I think he says it best "The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, bur rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable"

Thoughts Over Coffee

To the world I know, it lasts but a passing instant and in that fleeting moment we are asked to find meaning. Love doth call us out from the shade of our hearts and for a moment our souls are lifted towards meaning. All the more painful to return to the cave with only sunburn to show for your troubles. I don’t feel life as Hobbes puts it is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short” though I’m not convinced that he is that far off. This does not mean one should abandon hope in another day, as Tom Hanks taught us in Castaway, you never do know what will wash up on the beach the next day; though that means possible salvation goes hand and hand with potential ruin. Odysseus could have given up his journey everyday for twenty years but he didn’t, yet after the blood was cleaned from the Great Hall, he still had to awake the next morning to confront life’s daily chores. In striving to achieve meaning many of us hope to achieve some lasting prominence in this ephemeral world but I like to think back to the words of Lao Tzu

In the universe the difficult things are done as if they are easy.
In the universe great acts are made up of small deeds.
The sage does not attempt anything very big,
And thus achieves greatness

Yet that still leaves the question of what small deeds should be done. Aristotle wrote that “there are two things in which all which all well-being consists: one of them is the choice of a right end and aim of action, and the other the discovery of the actions which are means towards it; for the means and the end may agree or disagree”, which helps little in determining the proper end but does elucidate somewhat the choice that is our own….

Litmus Test

So things have started to change and while the specifics of these new events shall not be mentioned, the issue here is that things are no longer comfortable and it behooves me to no longer be complacent. Yet when this usually happens to me, I throw caution to the wind and grasp a hold of the first life boat that presents itself to me, even if happens to be filled with blood thirsty cannibals. Tomorrow I have an interview for a new staffing agency where, “all that is required is flexibility and willingness to work long hours”, which is something I’m more than capable of doing but the very idea of doing it now is an anathema. While this might be the case, I still am tempted at the thought of regaining a firm financial footing, but to do so would be at the expense of everything I’ve sacrificed for up until this point. Nonetheless things have started to change and I will need to start making more money….I have just called the staffing agency and canceled my interview. Damn the man save the empire.

Il Trittico

Last night my brother and I went to see Il Trittico at the Met, Puccini’s three opera journey through Dante’s Comedy. When Lauretta sang "O mio babbino caro" I felt chills flow through my body, a voice both rich in texture and with power to reach even the family circle seats that we found ourselves in with ease. It was raining afterwards, which provided further amusement as all those dressed up in their Saturday evening finery waited in lines for cabs. The wonderful thing about the Opera is that it provides a complete escape from the routine that so threatens to encompass us. The presentation of the heightened emotions through the well trained voices of these great singers speaks to the under current of raw feeling that lies beneath our mundane actions every day. Life is intense, no matter how much we think we have it all figured out, we have those moments when the orchestra hits a deep minor chord and a high note screams out within us. Life is routines compounded thank God for nights at the Opera and masterpieces of Art that can help us color our lives with the proper importance. If only I wasn’t broke and could afford the $11 glass of champagne. As Keynes said just before his life finally ebbed from his form “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more champagne”.

Update

The blog aptly titled at the time, Laidbacknyclifestyle, seems to be a bit of a misnomer these days. Those days of easy living seem to have vanished as my store of cash was drawn down and I was forced to return to the work force, though I hardly call temping true work. In the last five months I've gone from working on Wall Street, to being a want to be vagabond, and now I find myself a little less than satisfied indentured servant. I’ve run the gamut in my mind of possible career choices; chef, high school teacher, college professor, stock broker, sanitation worker, office something or other and I’ve arrived at the far from rational conclusion that I’m supposed to be a bass player. I’ve been playing music all my life so it’s not entirely out of left field, but one might say it is not actually a “mature” decision at this point in my life. Other then that, women are driving me insane and I’m emotionally isolated to them. My roommate is moving out to become a hobo and my brother, also my roommate, is working hours a week at a job that is far from rewarding. This is what it means to be in your mid-twenties I guess, raging against the fact that you’ll most likely fall into a routine that you vehemently despise but not seeing any other opportunities that pay the bills and then some…All and all I’m happier than where I was back at my old job but I’m far from happy with my life. Plus I’d like to grow a beard and long hair.

A Question Post 2

I do not mean this discussion to be to philosophical in scope, I don’t claim to hold the monopoly on truth. Philosophy, in its purest form, is the study of the study knowledge itself. This rather opaque pursuit seems to be archaic in our society because the connection to one’s daily life has been severed. Why does one scrutinize the world of ideas and its relation to the physical world? I would contend that pen ultimate goal is to lead a better life, which I also define as happier. Though some might argue that happiness is too subjective a concept to place as a goal I would counter with the fact that, however it is defined, one would prefer to be more happy than less. The first of you will say, “but fine sir, aren’t there those out there who love the mildewed walls of sweet melancholy?” Yet I think it is fair to say that they are seeking a qualitative better existence through melancholy than would be possible to them if they didn’t have the protective shroud of sorrow. Then you may return “but isn’t happiness different than feeling less pain”? Off we would go into the semantics of it, so I will leave it as this, I believe that Man would prefer to feel better than worse, with one of the end of the spectrum being happiness while the other is sorrow. If you seek to dispute this, I have left ample holes for you to drive your tank of logic through, if it makes you happy to do so.

A Question Post 1

The question that we must ask ourselves is how should one live; a simple statement that belies a much deeper philosophical inquiry. We are a people that are shackled by our refusal to think critically and constructively about the world and our place in it. To ask not only what should I do, but also what could be done. Perhaps the answers to the great epistemological questions lie within science but for all the intellectual disciplines that it has so far encompassed the simple fact that we still can’t prove anything remains, we are still human “instruments” observing the “world”. Yet in this forum I would like to take the time, which itself is inconstant, to examine Value; both its role in shaping our societal framework that informs our logic and as to whether it in of itself is discernable given the limited scope of the apparatus of the mind.

Heightened emotions as the tear widens into an chasm

Lifetimes slip by

All those lives that could, would, and might but will never exist

The time to break free arrives but it is with sorrow that we say goodbye

I hold your hand one last time, grasping for the lost warmth of yesterday

Your eyes have started to depart from me, seeing the world now without me

And my rib is once again removed

My heart beats beats beats from the pain

Overwhelming as it is the intensity purifies me

The next moment comes

3/2/2007

Some Random Poetry

He said, “I will live in this moment forever” then he died in a blaze of gunshots.

Mourning widows cry for their boys of war.

Late night calls go answered.

And still we sleep safe in our beds.

We are Lost children; thrown to the streets, to poverty, and ignorance.

When the well to do aren’t well at all, scared of rising to high and falling to far.

This is the current dilemma, this is life in complexity.

Simplified

We Breathe
We Eat

We Drink

We Breathe

We Eat

We and We Drink

Do We Feel?

Yes we Feel.

Are those feelings true?

This I don’t know.

Will I find love, and will it be real?

Transient emotions that lack substance?

I believe in love

All in the course of a moment.

This is the subtext, but what is yet to be written?

Tomorrow I must get up and repeat the process, or not.

The choice is ours to continue in this current state of being.

9/15/2006

Why are we taught to fear mediocrity?

Is it the fear of losing any semblance of permanence?

Or is it that we need the respect of those around us to reconfirm our own existence

Perhaps it is a noble spirit that moves us to aspire to the heavens.

I want to be great, so I say and so I believe but it might not be and then the again the term “great” is a working definition at best.

Yet the simple life does sound “good”.

Then we are confronted with the semantic differences between the two.

Value remains a ghost of philosophers and shall stay haunting its halls.

Life remains a question of daily valuations that are tied to no fixed currency that we can weigh.

9/24/2006

I am awed by culinary perfection

The skill, the speed, and Art

I long for a passion that pure

Where I represent the best parts of myself in my work

Or better put what I’d hope to be the best of myself

For now doubt lingers heavy upon my once impenetrable demeanor

To work endless hours with a single purpose then to one day achieve it

Whether it be in a consommé, a béchamel sauce, or even a chicken stock

Though I fear that these heights and I shall not meet

Mediocrity, by any other word is a failure

Where are our values?

Why do I tire right before reaching Marathon?

What inside of me fails to rally that I cannot break through?

So I say again, I am awed by culinary perfection

1/5/2007

If you were to see me on the street your gaze would not pause

Nor would you recall my name in silent moments in your mind

For some actions speak

For me words are my thoughts’ actions fulfilled

A phrase, an adage, a call to action, a call to be

These I hope you reflect upon, I am content to vanish into the city backdrop

Yet to each a touch of immortality

2/3/2007

Perfect moment in a lapse of judgment

Spontaneous freedom elapses towards the sun

Life threatening fears that abide in a hail of gunfire

Last night meant nothing but everything to me

I will see your face for the rest of my days

But I shall not see you again

Tomorrow is nothing to the day

Sexy cadences in words spoken

Leave me breathless

Wishing I was there and you here

Nothing will bring back tomorrows that never came

2/21/2007

Healthcare and the new revolution!

I used to be a proponent of free market capitalism but these days I feel that their certain parts of the necessities of life that should be provided for by the government. The bullshit about the American System of Government is that the money we spend goes to all the wrong things. What we need to do is hold the government accountable for the money they spend that way could provide the quality of life that citizens deserve. I know some right wingers might cry foul at the idea of “deserve”, but we pay taxes and the money is being misspent, all I am asking for is the most capitalistic notion around, to get what you pay for. The problem with the healthcare system is that those who can afford to pay for it pay up the nose which will lead them to a lower quality of life if they were making less and could be subsidized by the government. Healthcare should be an entitlement, look at our neighbors to the north, they aren’t busy fighting needless wars so they can afford to have some fiscal discipline. Bush and his minions, in this I include all those in Washington, (except for Obama who I have believe might actually have a head on his shoulders and a soul left unspoiled by the political beast) never learned that an equation must have equal sides, you can’t spend what you don’t have. Period!!!! I don’t consider myself a republican nor a democrat, I am an independent through and through and I feel that what we need is a new paradigm in government. We need to reclaim our sovereignty as the voters of this country. We shouldn’t give up hope because it seems useless; this is our right as citizens and our duty. Let us not shirk this responsibility, let’s call our “leaders” to task. Let us take on the world and cast it in an image that resembles an enlightened society. There are divides between the two political parties over things like how to best spend money on education or healthcare but I don’t believe that same divide exists amongst citizens, we’d say give us them both free. Then let us trim down the governments ranks like Corporate America “restructures” themselves all the time. Let us in cyberspace unite and present a united and powerful voice against the “good old boys” in congress, whether they be men or women. Let us say “We Want the World and We Want it Now!”

Musicslice

Musicslice is launching before the night is through, it will be the future of music. It is going to offer free music for download as well as a place for musicians far and wide to come together and create. I say cheers to Ken for the achievement of his dream!!

Love

It being Valentine’s Day and all I would be remiss not write a short blurb in honor of all those happy couples who will be getting it on tonight to honor a saint’s birthday. For those of you who have a special someone I say hold onto them tight and let them know that you’ll be there through thick and thin, everybody needs to hear that from time to time no matter how self sufficient they may be. For those of you who can’t be with your loved ones today I say make that phone call count and I hope that you will see them again soon. And for those of you, who have no one or still looking for that perfect someone, don’t worry too much about not having someone to spend a Hallmark minted or should I say printed holiday! Cheers to all you lovers out there may your kisses be joyous, heart’s be light, and you’re beds rock all night

Things To Do

What is it about procrastination that is so alluring? Franklin’s Poor Richard tell us never to do tomorrow what can be done today, but perhaps it’s man’s innate knowledge that tomorrow is far from being assured that leads him to put off those less enjoyable pursuits to another day. I have found myself spending far too much time worrying about the ramifications of still unrealized outcomes. In truth the old adage to “cross that bridge when you come to it”, rings truer and truer each day. Let us put off for tomorrow those things that need not be done today and do today what we need to do to fulfill our souls.

Money

How screwed up is it that some mother fucker with a job is telling me how to live! I've been living well for the last month and a half without a job and some fool comes along telling me that I'm not living because I think twice about ordering buffalo wings!!!! Well you know what dude, I'm making the money I worked hard for go a little further than a good time out with the boys. He justifies his job by being able to buy what he wants without thinking about it, how sad is that!!! All the while, me without a job is still chillin having a good time, and just thinking twice about my finances! This monsieur Glen thinks that it is worth while to work the hours he does so that he might enjoy himself more at a bar than I, a little unemployed jobless person! Well I got news for you Glen, I haven't worked in a month and half, fuck the Buffalo wings, I'm living the good life. For all you workers out there, remember that living is the primary aim not being able to afford to live. This lesson will serve you well, and would have taught my good friend a lesson or two about humility before he went spouting his mouth off about the down side of unemployment! Live life the best way that you know how, the rest is trivial bull shit that shouldn't concern you in the first place!!!!

Competition

I hate competition; I’ve always tried to do whatever I was doing the best that I could, but the idea of being better than someone else makes no sense to me. Either the act itself is worth doing well or its not. Do we really going around saying to each other, I love better than you love, well I guess we do but that is usually when trying to make another feel guilty, or I have better friends than you, again people may mistake status or stature for quality but this is not of what I am speaking. Tonight my two roommates and I jammed out for an hour and a half. Did we care if we sounded better than Metallica or Dylan, hell no! We just enjoyed the jam. Too often we live our lives thinking that they have to measure up and that is simply bull shit. Who cares what your parents did before you, or your sister/brother or best friend, do what you want to do and enjoy doing it. They say living well is the best revenge, but if you are living well I doubt that you are thinking of revenge. I am thinking about once again heading back to academia. For an instance it bothered me that others who had gone to grad school straight of their bachelors were ahead of me. Then I thought to myself about all my friends who had yet to even finish their first four years. Then I said, shame on you, you know better than that. And I do know better than that. Let us not live to measure up, let us live for the joy of each activity in and of itself, to hell with the rest of this rat race bull.

The Meaning of Life

So you want to know the meaning of life? I'll tell it to you but first, get on the phone or MySpace or wherever and invite all your friends out to a bar for a drink. Kiss your girlfriend on the lips and look deeply into her eyes, smile at her then raise your pint and toast your friends and their lives. Next look up at the stars as you walk out of the bar, remember that you are part of the universe, and that in itself is pretty fucking cool. Think of your parents, siblings, and favorite teacher who set you on a new path in your life. Then think of your favorite book, your favorite song, your favorite, artist, favorite view of the city, favorite view of the country, and the view of the road as your driving home, the view of the road with out a clue of where you’re headed. Then if you still can't figure out the meaning of life, smile at the questions still left to be answered and enjoy your night.

Working

In the world there have been proven to be four types of individuals, those who work for others, those who work for themselves, those who have others work for them, and finally those who don't work at all. I dream to be the latter of those, because working is a soul less act that drags down the soul. Now when I reference work I do not include those things done for enjoyment and that result in pay, no I refer to those things that we'd never spend our times doing unless we were getting paid. Marx wasn't such a crazy when he rallied against the few holding the means of the production while the rest of us toiled away. (Though I don't think he'd much agree with the concept of dragging down the soul). Now Freud thinks that work is actually self affirming, but even he puts happiness out mortals reach. Then what are we to do, how will we ever combat this plague upon our houses (that even if we happen to own them we have to pay taxes on). I proclaim that we shall not work, never and find a way to live. Far from laziness we will be the most productive generation the world has ever seen, but we will do so on our own terms. I don't want a revolution; these are too bloody and useless in sparking new evils to rule. Let us become third dimensional men and women like Marcuse wrote about all those years ago. I don't have the answers yet but I know that work is the enemy.